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How to not be Clingy | yoloabundance.com

How To Not Be A Clingy Girlfriend

How To Not Be A Clingy Girlfriend

Get rid of your Clingyness and access your inner security!


Clinginess, well, it's a tricky tango. You adore your partner, striving to be a better girlfriend, yet hormones can lead to that vulnerability.

Suddenly, you find yourself eagerly awaiting attention, more than you'd care to confess! ?

Let's chat about clinginess – relying on someone for specific emotions.

Whether that is love, happiness, positivity, or any of the emotions that you want to feel or just making you feel wanted - it's a delicate dance/

Often times when I notice that I am starting to put more attention on someone and wanting their attention more, I ask myself: What feeling am I feeling and desiring?

When it comes down to it.. 

Being clingy isn't inherently good or bad. While there might be a negative aspect, we can delve into the roots, heal, and get rid of that feeling forever.

Here are 10 must-dos on how to gracefully avoid clinginess. Because why go there when you can navigate it with grace? 

One of the easiest ways to explore the 10 steps that work is by watching this video to

Recognize that you are clingy and own it

The first step is, when you're attaching yourself to someone else, needing that person's attention or when you are starting to feel clingy or feel desperate, own it by recognizing it.

Because if you don't own it then you're just gonna start spewing these crawlers to get more attention. You're trying to hide behind this mask of not feeling it, and it just all goes out of hand then you don't know when to stop.

Clinginess, like a shadow, can creep into relationships, dimming the vibrant colors of love.

It's often a dance of insecurities, where fear takes the lead.

Picture clinginess as a sign, not of love, but of a heart yearning for reassurance and validation. Recognizing the signs is the first step to transforming your relationship into a canvas of trust and independence.

It's about embracing your worth, understanding that you're a whole universe in yourself, not just a star in someone else's sky.

Let's explore this path, lined with insights, where each step takes you closer to a relationship illuminated with trust, respect, and genuine connection.

Unlock Emotional Freedom: How to Not Be Clingy by Expertly Unpacking the Layers of Your Feelings and Desires

Unpack that clinginess

Let's dive into the second step – once you've acknowledged that clingy feeling, it's time to unpack it.

Picture a big line down the middle of a piece of paper. In one column, jot down everything you don't like about this behavior.

Be honest about the parts of yourself that are giving you a hard time. Let's shine a light on those shadows, shall we?

Write down the exact opposite of what you want

Thirdly, write down the exact opposite of what you want and understand that if you don't do this, you're gonna be stuck in the negative.

For example: I desire to feel secure, worthy and loved (on my own!)

Right now we want to transform the negative ideas to understand what we actually want.

Instead of focusing on what you don't want, realize that on the opposite side of that there's something that you do actually want.

Telling yourself what you actually want will shift you from that negative vibration thought pattern into that positive vibration, or allow you to see that there's another flip side of the coin.  

This simple act shifts you from a negative thought pattern to a positive one, breaking free from the clingy cycle's limiting beliefs.

You've got this, love!

How Not to be Clingy | yoloabundance.com

Focusing on what you love about this person

Fourth, if you're clingy towards someone, instead of asking them or manipulating them in order for them to give you more attention, love or any of what you want, start appreciating them for who they are.

Remember a time where you got the attention or feeling from the person, you can start creating memories and work with your memories remind yourself the good feelings.

For example, sometimes after meeting someone or having an incredible week or time with someone, I often find myself wanting to text them non-stop to keep drawing upon that dopamine or oxytocin hit!

Instead of doing that mindlessly, I take the opportunity to express what is at the bottom of my desire: Grattitude for the time we spent together!

What it does is that instead of making that person feel trapped and being bombarded by this person that's clinging on to them, they start feeling like they are just being appreciated by that person.

Find out what it is that you actually need to heal to get to that shift naturally with private coaching! 

It's more attractive for them to be interested and more likely to respond positively to you.

Focus on what you love | yoloabundance.com

Communicate clearly what you want

Five, most of the time when you are clingy, you find all kinds of ways to manipulate the situation by turning it to your favor so that you can get what you want.

Communicate clearly what you want, owning who you are and also appreciating them.

Before doing that, it might be useful to do some meditations to reach a place of peace instead of desperation.

Identify what are the actual biggest fear that you have and why are you clinging.

What is the biggest fear that you're having right now, is it that person's gonna run away? You're going to lose them?

Is it that you're afraid that the anxiety of them not being around or responding would eat you alive?

There are no wrong answers here, pure open curiosity! 

Or what's your biggest fear?

Look into what's at the root of your cling, because there's a lot of information there (even if they may seem dark) and instead of looking from outside for emotional support, look inside and see how you can support yourself and be dependent on yourself for emotional support in this situation.


Explore your deepest fears, for there lies a wealth of information. Instead of seeking external emotional support, turn inward. Be your own pillar of strength in this situation. I find immense joy in helping people uncover the root causes of their patterns. 

We've crafted a method to clear over 200 blocks—tried, tested, and true. 

Identify the insecurities 'within you'

Identify what are the biggest fear that you have and why are you clinging. Look into those elements because there's a gem in there that when you decode what truly makes you feel desperate or needy, you can provide that assurance from yourself!  

And if you need to find a way to dettach emotionally, check this article out.

Unlock Emotional Freedom: How to Not Be Clingy by Fearlessly Exploring the Worst-Case Scenario and Transforming Your Relationship Dynamics!

Explore what’s the worst-case scenario

Six, let's delve into the heart of it all. Identify those fears, the ones that make you hold on a bit too tightly. 

Unravel the threads of insecurity – what's the root cause?

What are you seeking from your partner?

Are you afraid he'd leave you? Are you afraid she'd leave you? What if they did? What would happen then? 

And then after that? 

And then after that? 

Any addictions in the mix?

Now, here's the magic – how can you make those feelings feel safe? 

It's a beautiful journey of self-assurance and self-care.

In doing so, you'll find yourself empowered and well-cared for. 

Show up with your partner from a place of fullness, not lack.

Mastering Emotional Independence: How to Not Be Clingy by Asking the Right Questions and Unveiling the Roots of Your Feelings

Ask questions

Seven, ask questions and come from a place of curiosity. If you are able to communicate open and clearly to your person that you feel vulnerable, it creates more intimacy. 

Instead of feeling shame or uncomfortable with the neediness that you feel, someone who cares about you will hold space for you to be honest. 

But, if that touch of unease lingers, consider visiting this page for a moment of meditation. Let it be a gentle guide to bring more inner peace before broaching the topic. Remember, it's okay to seek tranquility within.

And always, my love, feel empowered to ask for a non-judgmental space, creating an oasis of safety for your authentic self.

Should expectations or past hurts cast shadows, seek support. Assess if they're real, if healing or transformation is possible, or if it's time to release that fear. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth.

Understanding that intimacy is all about openness and communication

Eight, open communication, transparent connection and the ability to be vulnerable and supporting each other through these emotional ups and downs of life is so precious!

If you are able to do that with your person, then they're a keeper!

Because the best thing is that you can move on from this and grow from it and no longer be a clingy person and gain the confidence to truly shine and be secure! (If you want help, I can help you!)

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Be easy on yourself

Be easy on yourself | yoloabundance.com

Ten, be easy on yourself so that you can actually feel it.

Relax into and not reject and deny your clinging self when it comes. Because it is valid and it is a part of you and there is a way to work with it. It's an opportunity to heal!

So these are the Ten steps to not being clingy and I hope that you can apply at least one (or all) the recommendations! This will help you get past the feeling in a HUGE way! 

And, as always, if you desire to do this with a professional and get rid of these insecurities of clinginess once and for all, get on a call with me, our team or buy one of our transformational audios here!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

YOLO Team - with Hani

After self healing from a 15 year battle with a disease, Hani has distilled the most important learnings into a multi-cultural Bestselling Author of the You Only Live Once book and now, with her team, supports leaders, change makers, and impact driven entrepreneurs to build sustainable career and businesses so that they can contribute at their highest level. She supports holistic transformations through strategy, personal growth and practical spirituality (mindfulness). The YUMMY Team’s clients span USA, Asia, Africa, Europe, and South America. They are sought after by clients and partners like Singapore Management University, Chamber of Commerce’s, Lululemon, HER Global Network, Festivals, talks and private coaching. The YOLO programs have spread across 350+ media outlets including ABC, NBC, FOX, BBC, and Forum of the Future. Prior to coaching, Hani managed global digital marketing teams at Ogilvy & Mather. She also holds a Masters of Science degree in Innovation, is a Master NLP practitioner and has been a part of Stanford and Claremont Mckenna College.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

YOLO Team - with Hani

After self healing from a 15 year battle with a disease, Hani has distilled the most important learnings into a multi-cultural Bestselling Author of the You Only Live Once book and now, with her team, supports leaders, change makers, and impact driven entrepreneurs to build sustainable career and businesses so that they can contribute at their highest level. She supports holistic transformations through strategy, personal growth and practical spirituality (mindfulness). The YUMMY Team’s clients span USA, Asia, Africa, Europe, and South America. They are sought after by clients and partners like Singapore Management University, Chamber of Commerce’s, Lululemon, HER Global Network, Festivals, talks and private coaching. The YOLO programs have spread across 350+ media outlets including ABC, NBC, FOX, BBC, and Forum of the Future. Prior to coaching, Hani managed global digital marketing teams at Ogilvy & Mather. She also holds a Masters of Science degree in Innovation, is a Master NLP practitioner and has been a part of Stanford and Claremont Mckenna College.

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ABOUT YING HAN CHENG

International bestselling author, Speaker And Transformational Life & Business Innovation Coach.

Ying Han Cheng is a multi-cultural Bestselling Author of the YOLO book and founder of YOLO Close the Gap Program.

Growing up internationally and as a third cultured kid, she integrates her multi-cultural and the inter-disciplinary awareness when coaching on topics including Identity and Purpose. With Ying Han's multi-cultural background, wide range of tools, and creative neutro-coaching techniques, she has helped leaders, entrepreneurs and change-makers to reach their highest potential.

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Join the YOLO ABUNDANCE email list

Get notifications on inspiring content, ground breaking mind hacks right to your inbox within ONE CLICK

ABOUT HANI CHENG

International bestselling author, Speaker And Transformational Life & Business Innovation Coach.

Ying Han Cheng is a multi-cultural Bestselling Author of the YOLO book and founder of YOLO Close the Gap Program.

Growing up internationally and as a third cultured kid, she integrates her multi-cultural and the inter-disciplinary awareness when coaching on topics including Identity and Purpose. With Ying Han's multi-cultural background, wide range of tools, and creative neutro-coaching techniques, she has helped leaders, entrepreneurs and change-makers to reach their highest potential.

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